More on Fortitude...Mea Culpa
You have read yesterday’s blog, and I hope you will begin to understand my recollection of my so-called virtue of fortitude. I suffer from disturbing lack of that virtue and in fact, it is a sin against the Holy Ghost, denying Christ's words. It is as many of the laity in the Catholic Church say or act, thus calling Christ a liar. He told us we would be never lost for words before Kings and Princes. What form does that lack of bravery take? This is so easy to write now I have thought it through and believe I can annunciate my lack verbally. This does not mean it is any the less of a sin because I have looked at it. It is the same sin you of many of you commit. It is spinning the works of God and reducing it to a mere cipher, putting it aside, procrastinating, hiding the Word of God that should be in us, through grace. It is spouting off phrases like saying, “I confess my sins to God”. We deny ourself the gesture of humility, by bending down before a priest, in the confessional. Without the practice of humility, which I feel is a charitable posture before God admitting to our sinful state before a man chosen by God and the Mystical Body to administer the Sacraments for and on us.
What then is my lack? It concerns the words I experience as I pray. It concerns the conversations that take place in the deep interior of my heart, its very center, Fortunately I do not put them aside but soften because I know their harshness will bring recriminations and abuse. I have decided I must change and therefore let me start now.
I believe these are the words of Him who creared us. Often I do nothing with them because of the reasons above.
The Prayers I often receive are not the sweet smelling incense I desire but the smell of the sewer from infected minds. Some pray unintelligibly out of a self-proclaimed intelligence. They insult My Divine Intelligence. Do they think I gave them an ability only to mutter and grumble in grunts and spitting? Is that how they worship me? Their prayers coming from their lips are requests for fornication with My Enemy. When will they learn? Must I demonstrate harshly, the fruits of their prayers? I do not hear them. Tell them who does. You have witnessed my wrath make it known. Have I not given you the strength to know and write? Are you the same as those others of My creation? What did you promise? Are you like the others so welcome to receive my will, a will that pleases them or do you deny, dismiss the actions of My Wrath as unsuitable? No one will be surprised when at the final judgment as I take My just rewards for their infidelity. If they are, then be sure you were not the cause of their lack of knowledge.
The last lines are for me. The first ones are for others.