All Conversations in My Heart
Thursday, July 10, 2008
  Old Man Dreaming

In a moment, I will write about my latest thoughts or as Joel wrote, “I will make your old men dream dreams”. I have realized, long since, I am not the “Man” He is Christ. What I am though is the man (creature for the P.C.) that is collectively man as in a collective noun. What I receive is for all. Also there was a time in my life when Mary, our Virgin Mother said, "We would like to talk to so many, but so few listen"

Two mornings of last week, at that time of being neither awake nor asleep, the time when the Church says we cannot be held responsible for our thoughts I was very aware of a cross, without a corpus. This cross not very large and made of thin planking stood amongst very green bushes and plants. As I looked, I heard, “Will it fit?” and I awoke. A day or two later at the same time in the early dawn, I saw the same cross, in the same surroundings and this time I heard in a questioning voice, “Shall we measure you?” Then I awoke.

I also knew this, missing in the last question was, “Will you be found wanting?” and thought that measure must mean test. All of us will soon have a choice. That time is close. All of us in some manner as per God’s will, will be given a choice. There will be some kind of cross for us to carry, to live under or for sure to carry. Now the question for us all is. “Will we be found wanting?” Will we recognize the cross we are all to experience whether we like it or not?

God has removed or will remove the spiritual, (religious) crisis from His view alone and will share it with us in various ways. Before you get too scornful, ask yourselves, “Is the world at a critical state in its spiritual relationship with its Creator? Are you existing under the same crisis or perhaps part of it?”

Can you say this prayer from the very center of your heart and truly mean the words?

“My God! My God! How have I offended Thee? Answer me O Lord!”

 
Wednesday, July 09, 2008
  Christ, The Man of Sorrows
Well did I get stick. I have had a couple of e-mails since the last post telling me of my heresies and how difficult it was to understand the blog. Let me explain my thoughts, yet not demanding you believe them. The depth of your beliefs depends very much upon your state of grace.

What are sorrows in the Eyes of God, who sees and knows all things? There could be many different types or varieties, but let us look at Christ in the instance of His Passion and suffering. We know that sins could not enter His Soul. Not that He was different man than us in this case, other than being what we should be, that is resistant to sin. but rather He, and we should too, would not voluntarily have surrendered Himself to satan. Christ had to be a creature (of special circumstances and virtue) and was to suffer all the pains and temptations of the creature in order to judge us perfectly. He had to know the pain and separation from God or how could He sentence us perfectly and justly? Is not the separation from God an abyss. An abyss the size of which we can alter by prayer, good works and the sacramentsr. The attempts to alter this gap is indicative of our desire to truly love Him. We know in the forty-day retreat/stay in the desert early in His public life, He did admonish satan, “You shall not tempt God”, and we must not either.

St Teresa of Avila was privileged to see a soul in a state of grave sin, while she, the soul was wearing (My words) a hardened blackened carapace (my words) she, the soul, there was still a small spluttering candle in the depths of this soul. I thought at the time while sin did not enter the soul perhaps the outer skin (a hardened sinner my words) prevented grace entering and a residual grace remained inside, perhaps it is a memory of the Beatific Vision in which we were created by His paternal thought and experienced for a split second. This hardened shell of sin prevents God entering into us or into our temple, which we should maintain for His throne. The flame is it perhaps a memory or grace always keeping the creature to seek God?

Christ our God must be very sorrowful that we maintain our sin without complete repentance, keeping our souls in the dark rarely satisfying God’s Justice until we are forced by circumstances to seek His Mercy. Christ’s sorrows are our sins and out of His perfect Love he would do anything to help us to repent. Can we therefore think we can ease His now spiritual suffering, done on our behalf. So upon the Cross, while not sinning, Christ must have in some way allowed the weight of our sins that is their repugnancy to God the Father, to hide His Divine Light from His Father. The greatness of the Sacrifice by the Father and the Son on our behalf cannot be measured or grasped by mere humans, especially in these dreadful times when self-denial is so lacking.

I use the word ‘unable”, but I would think God was unwilling to see His Son’s soul made ugly by our sin, as they surrounded and weighed down the precious and devoted soul of His Son. Ugly as sin is not a phrase to be taken lightly. Habbakuk says God’s Eyes are so pure he cannot see ugliness (Doctrine on Purgatory) He stopped looking, turned His face away until Jesus’ humble repentance on our behalf opened heaven for us all and Jesus as He always will, after we use the means available to us, will lead us into heaven.

The great pity of this world is we compartmentalize God. It is our way of understanding, of educating ourselves, to more fully comprehend facts presented to us. We have in this manner simplified our beliefs and in our religion stay satisfied with what we know. This I am afraid causes us to stultify and mark time thus trivializing our perception of God. Be aware that through prayer of the type doctrinally recommended by The Church, grinding out time in the discipline of prayer we can know God, more deeply. When we truly reach out to Him and arrive at the prayer of silence and meditation, we can become very aware through His works in our intellect, His ways and means, even those as under educated as myself. Look at this way and consider it deeply. God at our entrance into the Church gives us three talents, the Theological Virtues of Faith Hope and Charity. Will we be able to tell him with all honesty we have improved them to a greater value or did we let them lie fallow or even to rot in unhallowed ground. Do not tell me your answer, tell yourself the truth.

 
Tuesday, July 08, 2008
  Renewal of a Theme, Confrontational Love and Charity.
In The previous blog I wrote that God’s Love is confrontational. For a truly practicing Catholic, how can it not be? Of course it is, for if we truly love God we would be very confrontational when we experience sin in ourselves. Of course we should acknowledge many of us are in denial. If one knows or understands the truly great gulf (abyss) which exists between the Perfection of God and our own perfidious natures, we should experience a fright, not fear of God but the desolation when our thoughts should tell us of the deliberate separation we choose to place between us, that is Him and I. It is very personal for the true believer. This belief in today’s modern world will be and is offensive to many. The grace to perceive this abyss comes with prayer and is not in many as a strong belief. Immersed in the minimalism practiced by so many of our faith, we achieve what Luther set out to do, that is really believe that as long as we confess a belief (of a sort) to the name Jesus, we are saved. We might just believe salvation is given without consequence or any labor of true love.

We should all consider and know in a very real reality, and it is a reality, the modern comprehension, the meaning and use of the word love is trivialized. Love today is, and is very much so in the Church, is heterosexual, homosexual, making out and fooling around. Ask many priests when they counsel marriage preparation course, how many of those they counsel are co-habiting. How many who appear before the Marriage Tribunal are already shacked up with a new partner? If this is not so why then does the Tribunal insist you are should be living apart.

Be honest the word we should be using is Charity as defined as follows, “It is the infused supernatural virtue by which a person loves God above all things for his own sake, and loves others for God's sake. It is a virtue based on divine faith or in belief in God's revealed truth, and is not acquired by mere human effort. It can be conferred only by divine grace. Because it is infused along with sanctifying grace, it is frequently identified with the state of grace. Therefore, a person who has lost the supernatural virtue of charity has lost the state of grace, although he may still possess the virtues of hope and faith. (Fr J. Hardon’s Catholic Dictionary)

In a conversation at one time with a priest as we discussed my actions, and what I write, he describes the manner in which I write is inspiring but not charitable. I asked what he read was it truth? He did agree there was an element of truth in it. I did concede that what I wrote was not perfect but who was. I did concede that what I wrote was not perfect but who was perfect truth. He made his concession and agreed that Christ was Perfect Truth. My question was then who is Perfect Charity? You may answer it yourself. So I believe I can maintain, to practice Charity we must also practice truth. I mean we must offer not our opinions, which are always less than truth and always full of pride but from the definition above and from other words of Our Lord Jesus Christ each day of the seven in our weeks we must forgive without rancor at least seventy times. Is that action Charity, you see I do not have to love them just treat them charitably a big difference. I like the words of the Our Father in the Westminster translation of the Latin Vulgate, they are the Byzantine Words, “Forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors”. Why do I like these words well I try to consider I have no debtors. I realize that those who offend me really offend God and therefore I pray with the “pity’ of charity sorry that I have caused or given them a reason to sin. I pity them and consider my actions as a sin against charity. What is Pity? Grief or pain aroused by the suffering or misfortune of another. Pity is less than sympathy, which shares in the experience of another. It is a form of condescending sympathy. (Fr John’s Catholic Dictionary)

What then was and is our ongoing belief called the greatest act of charity we have experienced, it is the Passion and death of our Lord Jesus Christ which we experience in the Most Holy Sacrifice of the Altar, the Eucharist. We have it summed up for us in Scriptures, “Greater Love hath no man that He laid down His life for others”. Now if we go back to the definition of Charity, a theological virtue, the Church teaches us we receive it at baptism and then I ask, why do we receive it again when we receive the greatest renewal of our spiritual life at the Holy Mysterious Sacrament of Confession, Penance and Reconciliation. Therefore in a state of grace and attending the Liturgy so does our charity grow greater, so then does our grace. The abyss narrows and becomes shallower. Obviously, with grave sin, mortal sin we are dead to Christ. We have separated ourselves by serious sin from Christ’s salvific charitable act and must make amends. We know that we need therefore “sanctifying grace” that indwelling of the Holy Spirit. This Most Blessed Spirit is God’s supernatural Love and Sanctifying Grace, which as the definition above says is not acquired by mere human effort but given by God who condescends or in other words, leans over our insignificance, crosses the great separation we manufacture often with a serious deliberation, to forgive us, if He sees true repentance in our hearts.

Can we then say that if we are not in a state of Charity, of Grace, we cannot enter into the Bond of Charity that is the Eucharist? The remembrance by our actions a true communion of His Passion and sacrifice. Consider those actions as perhaps seen by Christ. Do we remember during the Liturgy what we should remember? Can we not know that if we do not practice (AS CATHOLICS) charity as our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ taught us, which very much includes using the Sacraments as they are part of God’s “MUCH” we have been given, we cannot enter into the Kingdom of Charity. Charity as Paul teaches us daily through his letters is a language. Let us examine this further. In this world today we can lose Charity but still claim Hope and Faith. We can still claim through the catholic catechism that although we do not have an indwelling of the Holy Spirit, He still surrounds us for God is everywhere. He quietly awaits our repentance and comes back into us through the mediations and absolutions given us by His Alter Ego, the Sacrificial Priest. What is it that happens to the theological virtues when we repose? When our body dies and our soul leaves this world. The opposite is the norm. We no longer need faith, for the second time or the first since our moment of His creative conception of us, when God patterns us in His Paternal Thoughts and we see Him spontaneously, only to quickly lose the Beatific Vision due to the shadow of original sin. We lose our original innocence. Seeing is believing they say, and we no longer need Faith as we see and know His existence, Hope is no longer necessary we are about to realize the catholic definition of hope that is, “The confident desire of obtaining a future good that is difficult to attain. It is therefore a desire, which implies seeking and pursuing; some future good that is not yet possessed but wanted, unlike fear that shrinks from a future evil. This future good draws out a person's volition. Hope is confident that what is desired will certainly be attained. It is the opposite of despair”. (Fr John again)

Yet we recognize that the object wanted is not easily obtained and that it requires effort to overcome whatever obstacles stand in our way. At our bodily death, this has all been concluded we are about to know our eternal destiny. Then all is left after judgment is Charity, Paul’s active language of Heaven. The eternal song of angels and saints.

Look at the Eucharist again. It can be Heaven in us, providing as Christ said, “If you love Me, keep My commandments”. It must be Heaven for where we have Jesus we have His Father and also the Supernatural Love and sanctifying grace, the loving Spirit. We are in this state of holiness the way we were meant to be as Mary was, a spiritual womb containing heaven and in heaven. I think you will find this in Jeremiah.

Are we, you or I, worthy to receive this act of Charity on earth as well as in heaven? There is only one way to find out take Paul’s advice and examine one’s self. Cry out in the words of the Lenten prayer before the pseudo mysticism of Vatican 2. “My God! My God! How have I offended You, What have I done to You?” (Liturgy of the Presanctified Latin Rite). Cry out remembering another of Christ’s seven last words, “My God! My God why have You forsaken me?” Christ reminds us in these words, of the Man who took upon Himself the sins of the World. He reminds us that His Father would not share His temple with His enemy. I say man because God cannot die and it was the Jesus, the man created to be the Sacrifice of God’s charity, His pity for His and our loss, the separation. If I am wrong in this then why did Christ ask such a question of His Father? Especially since pre the Cross, Jesus told Philip and the Apostles, “Where ever I am, there is the Father”. Christ in those final moments took our sins upon Himself and in making the severest of all penances recommended Himself, the man, to God for forgiveness for a reconciliation, “Into your hands O Lord I commend My Spirit”, and the way to heaven was available to us. Yet today it is a common complaint why do we suffer. Many outside the church tell us we are wrong, you are on the wrong side of the Cross. We are all Easter people. A truer meaning of the word Love is, if we truly loved Christ, we would want to be there for Him on the Cross, or at least carry our own.

For those in denial that God does not will not share His temple with His enemy may I remind you that the Jewish Old Law and the Catholic New Law holds strongly to this belief. If we sin God sends us from His presence. If it is not so, then outside our windows is a sinless place called the Garden of Eden? If it were not so why then did God tell Samuel He regretted Saul for his disobedience? Why then did David pray, “Turn not your face from me, Take not Your Holy Spirit from me”? Why the did Christ tell Peter, “Get out of my sight”

Let me pose another question, “Would, could God put His Seed in a dirty cup?” Therefore Mary had to be sinless in every way. Mary, the Virgin Mother, created before creation began (Duns Scotus and the words of a Catholic Children’s English Hymn) was what we were meant to be before Adam and Eve fell to temptation.

Finally ask this of your self, Can true Communion be Holy with sin present.

 
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