Received a comment e-mailed to me from one of the recipients of my blog. It was simple, “you need a lot of editing. What kind of editing is that? Am I so far off base with my thoughts or so far off base with my grammar, so far of base with the Churchmen and their behavior. So I had a little time in prayer and thought about many of my thoughts and what I put into writing. I go back to the comment by a woman some months ago about I was too far into the dark. To me when I speak, listen to my brothers and sisters in Christ, and hear homilies at masses, I truly believe this woman could be right. I am surrounded by a form of darkness that is full of malevolence and spiritual hatred. I do not want to be there and neither do I wish, and dearly so for my fellow catholics to be there. I hate the darkness and the dreadful malevolent spirit that clouds the light in our souls.
I am off base with many Churchmen that is sure. I was brought up in the Church and taught from the penny catechism, taught by my father, nuns and priests. I do not see in many of the teachers today, many of the Nuns today and certainly in the majority of priests the basic knowledge of the commandments of God, the postures we should accept before God in reverence and adoration I learnt from my teachers. In fact, most priests and religious formed in the wake of
I am off base with grammar not so much as a practical problem of brainpower but from some inability to write exactly what I think. It started at 13 or 14. My ability to put pen to paper neatly just went haywire, letters transposed and I left out words. My wife of 40 odd years tells me I think too fast and cannot catch up as I write. Charity asks that you understand I have never passed a written exam since I was 14 unless I sat them three times. My competency in oral exams was always acceptable.
This week, while reading an orthodox book on theology describing love makes me wonder if any really comprehend God’s love for us. He does love us, we know, but how He does is the question? God as the orthodox theologians tell us illuminates and deifies us. Let us keep in mind everything we do causes us to descend step by step, or rise up step by step. The Hebrews firmly believed these facts, Paul certainly did. Since Christ came to fulfill the Old Law and not to change it, so must we. St Teresa of
Now God looks at us and sees Himself in us, a lesser kind of beatific vision. He now loves us with the bliss of the beatific vision that He sees as He contemplates Himself, in us, We are, maybe, the darkened mirror, the clouded glass of Paul. This is the first love blissfully He has for us from baptism and after good confessions (The Sacrament of Penance). The other Love He has, is a suffering Love because by sin we separate ourselves from Him. This love we attain is, again according to the Old Law His eyes are so pure, He cannot see the ugliness of sin (does not allow Himself, I shouldn't wonder) His love becomes for us a suffering love. We are missing from the space in His heart preserved for us.
Then and only then as we make expiation or any deep repentance for our sins, as we look to the Cross and see how we helped put Him there and seek the reasons "why" in ourselves; then as our pity for ourselves changes to pity for Him; becoming a love we cannot support ourselves or find on our own, only then can it be changed by desire that comes from Him and deeply and sincerely from the inner chamber of our soul we can perhaps expect to find a true suffering love. I mean a different a real kind of feeling that wells up as it has been written from the well spring of our heart, who lives deep in our heart, the Holy Ghost, the spirit of sanctifying grace and supernatural love. Who knows I ask how that will show?