Musings on a life style
I must say that my mind over the last month and a little before upon reflection has been a desert of one sort of another. We live, my wife and I, a fairly isolated life up against the start of the Rockies at the end of the Fraser Valley’s north side. It is not as lonely as where we used to live.
We try to maintain a semi-solitary spiritual life and recently as I prayed it came to me that after a fashion we are both solitaries inclined towards those small communities that existed in the Palestine after the ascent of Christ to Heaven. It seems from reading these communities were started by women, certainly by Apostle Philip’s two daughters.
The desert for me has been a lethargic time, caused partly by age, partly by a lack of interest in prayer. While I do not truly believe in a dark night of the soul as modern definitions explain it, this exercise does exist. Consider it in this manner, Christ can see too much zeal and a need that becomes desperate in one’s pursuit of Him and slows us down in His way to help us to last the course. Another way is, knowing us and all our faculties so intimately, Christ uses them against us to get the really good in us to react. Blessed Teresa of Calcutta, a woman of our times so deliberately in her case so infused with love for Christ, He was able to really dig deep into her spirit to achieve through her such tremendous charity and love for those who truly were abandoned by men. Her love was such they were her substitute for Him. This is why her constant battle cry was, “See Jesus in the suffering hordes”. I believe when I was asked by Christ one Sunday afternoon, “Just who do you think you are? I lead you follow, I died for you read the Scriptures. Before this period when as I meditated and thought so many questions were answered and so many corrections and directions were given me. As Mary, our Lady and Queen said on another prayerful occasion, “You will always be asking questions, even in eternity”. I hope the question will not be, “Why did I not obey?” When as I prayed and my soul’s sight became dim I prayed and said Lord Jesus, it is written that even when we are lonely in prayer and the silence is painful to my mind and soul, You are closer than any other time, so please speak to me”. The word made flesh made His presence felt.
I have been asked by thoughts in my mind, questions that are disconcerting; I hear critiques of my life that are worrisome. Of course, the experts on the supernatural whom I find never work their opinions through with prayer and have such a conviction of their own veracity will deny the presence of the Holy Spirit in my life jumping at the chance to destroy any good example in my way of life. They will have soon enough their own personal questions to answer from the same source as mine. I would not doubt.
Here is a question. A sperm and an egg that comes together in a petrie dish, is it an act of God’s creation or an insipid human copy of God’s creative act that takes place in a woman’s womb. The act that emulates the creation of man in Genesis.
Another question; To deny the Catholic Doctrine of the Immaculate Conception is it not a denial of Genesis. Are we not all immaculately conceived that is a thought that comes from God that gives us reason to believe since God cannot sin His thought that is us was conceived in God’s mind and in our mother’s womb. Here is the dreadful question that followed does God give a soul to such a mechanical construction that comes from what may be a act of some kind of masturbation. Of course, some will say, “God out of Charity will give this human act a soul”. Is that your opinion or God’s? I dare not write what comes into my mind as I think these questions through.
One of the most enlightening questions asked by Mary of me, I believe was, “What do you say of a man standing up to his neck in the Precious Blood?”
What do you holy men and women answer to that one?
What are we, our soul that is "of God,to God or part of God"?
Read the Confessions of St Augustine as for help in prayer to understand his sentiments.
Labels: dark night, Holy Spirit, Our Lady, soul