All Conversations in My Heart
Monday, November 01, 2010
  Passing Moments
As John Masefield wrote in his poem Sea Fever, "I must go down to the sea again, to the lonely sea and the sky. Then give me a tall ship and a star to steer her by. So must I through no effort of my own return to the recurring mental eye by which I see the towering flame. The last two weeks find it often occupying my thoughts. I am further up, as far as I can understand no where near its apogee, to where the flame has became white hot and a little transparent. Although it is still too dense for me to see inside.
It reminds me of other words that come to me when I manage to enter, quite deeply it seems, into thoughts and words that are centered in my heart. Sometime I will set down why this way of contemplation has become easier and easier to undergo always cued, as it were, by the brilliant flame. Here is where I will lose many of you because many will say this is false and could not possibly happen. I ask why not, Heaven can do or say anything It likes and no matter how envious or disbelieving any of you are, Heaven does not need your advice. Our Lady of the Healing Waters of Life said, "You are my mystical priest, go offer my sacrifice". Well yesterday a woman told me at mass that it is a very fine line I walk. It was an attempt of correction, since we had words before when she told me, "I suffer for all the aborted children". A magnificent deed if it were true. 
From a very personal point of view and reading many lives of the Saints, Jesus usually asks us to suffer for Him. He did to me and I am not a great saint. I have habits that are dreadfully sinful. She, the woman, was as mad at me then as yesterday. I reminded her of a hymn we sang that day, "Seek and you shall find. Ask and it will be given".
I do not want to be overly critical or as a priest told me again twice in a week I was negative. Not so, I think that God will clear up the mess that is the Church, but not with us keeping silent. He likes examples and has given us a sword not a jar of honey. So many times I hear from others, "You will catch more flies with honey". We have been pouring honey into open sores in the church since 45 years or more. Have they healed and the decay that attracts flies been made wholesome and pure. It is time for some severe pruning and then a sealing ointment plastered over the wounds. Too many claim some kind of suffering in the Church and yet when push comes to shove they adroitly manoeuvre themselves out from under the weight of their cross. I can give you chapter and verse to give truthful examples of what I write.

In one of my preceding blogs I gave you the prayers I use to find out who was as I was told, guides me. "A power far more so than any thing of the world". And the Name given was authenticated by scriptures, 1st. letter of John verse 4 or so.
I am a priest Paul says so, not the common priesthood of the Pentecostal Charismatics, but the Royal Priesthood of the Scriptures. I am Mystical as are any Catholics in good standing. Then I must trust in the condescension of God that comes with the Holy Mystical Sacraments of the Catholic Church, with the attendance at Mass, Adoration and other exemplary habits of a truly practicing Catholic of good standing. One way of testing is to check if we fulfill the rubrics of indulgences so as to receive a plenary indulgence. If any Catholic can say yes to the above conditions then we can say that the right to bind and loose set in the Church's authority by Jesus after His Resurrection, has been made available to us. Then we can know we have made every effort and God will reward us. This still does not perhaps make us holy and righteous, it does make us just. God's condescension is the grace that makes us righteous, that is free from sin. The majority of Jews were just and waited for Christ to die and free them from our heritage of Adam's sin before they entered heaven.
So I go to mass and offer the sacrifice for that which Mary, Queen of Heaven earth asked me to do, that is pray for the Church. As The Mother of God said, "My Son, Jesus and I want the Church to return to the state He left It".




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