All Conversations in My Heart
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
  Wondering about Catholics
Personally I am glad that Lent is behind us; the last two weeks were difficult for me. Each day seemed harder to get through than before as thoughts and prayers almost became obstacles and I had a constant feeling that I could get nothing done. Any projects, readings or prayers were hard to start and harder to finish. No matter where I turned it seemed that sin and temptations had hit me so hard. They had seriously weakened me spiritually. I felt they caused God not to listen to my words. In the past these times were short and always were the harbinger of answered prayers or some spiritual advantage to whom I was praying for. Although I know from the Catechism that God is everywhere, I did have to remind Him that I knew He was surrounding me with His Love and I counted upon Him and I hoped at this time His was not a sorrowful love by which He had judged my present way of life. Masses and prayers were so hard to attend. Reading Scriptures and the Lives of the Saints seemed to be dead and lifeless. Finally I can write what a beautiful Maundy Thursday it was. What a beautiful Good Friday and Easter Vigil. As sure as I am writing this the Feast of the Most Holy Sacrifice of the Mass on those days were so serene and the presence of the Eucharist upon the Altar caused my mind to be illuminated brightly. Who knows if I am right when I say much more of that dryness would have led me to go astray seeking the ways of the world in place of the Joys of God? The feelings I under went about the profanities of the present offerings of the Mass by the vast majority of Catholics, were debilitating and even now the screams of horror amongst Catholic Minimalists will rang harshly around my ears. It would be good if the Local Ordinary would answer the letters I write to ask for his aid. He seems to be as pastorally inept and many prelates of his rank. I find it difficult to accept or better still understand those who claim the Mass is boring. If my state, leading up to Holy or Maundy Thursday was so harsh in Spiritual Matters, if I was so down and bordering on confusion, then I question their spiritual state to ask what must the state of their soul be like?
I might claim with due consideration that the agony in the garden was mine with these and other insights over the weeks preceding the Church’s mystical rituals of Holy Week. I mean the thoughts that were so tiring which I underwent in those two final weeks of Lent and I include Holy Week. Is this not what Lent should be all about and should be this way for us all? Must we not share, through prayers, the Stations of the Cross, the Good Friday liturgies celebrating the Passion of Christ, share according to our just desserts which we find in God’s will? Look at very internal temptations Christ underwent in Gethsemane. Permit me to begin at the beginning of the very graphic start of His Passion and Death, to show the depths of His suffering for the sins to that time. He knew or was shown that so many who ecstatically celebrated His teachings, healings and the celebration of His Journey into Jerusalem on Palm Sunday would, within days, throw at Him, anything they could get their hands on. I mean stones and other filth lying on the roadsides. Just for one day they threw branches and cloaks before Him then the bombardments of missiles opened up in His thoughts and in His mind and the missiles of His people struck His Body as a physical sign of His tempting despairing thoughts. We know that in the Garden the temptations were so harsh; He sweated blood, controlling His Mind to avoid them. Love, to Christ, was more than a lifestyle it was also a disciplined, engrained habit. Here we should remember the Holy Spirit is a Spirit of Discipline. Christ loved, He loved despite the angry acts of His so called followers, those I mean whom He taught and healed. It was not only Judas who betrayed Him but His Hebrew brothers and sisters.
The habit of Love was so fixed deeply in His psyche; it did not desert Him even when Angels and Grace withdrew. The last contact, before his death and crucifixion, with any of His Father’s Angel occurred in the Garden after He fought off temptations and the Angel came to console Him. No more help was available from heaven as He assumed the sins of the world and God who is so pure cannot see evil, left Him. Especially the evil that Christ took upon Himself, the sins of the world to that time it is written somewhere. The replies to one of my blogs caused me some amazement. The amazement is how much Catholics do not care to know the heights and depths to which Jesus would, will go for our salvation and exactly those depths to which the wicked were allowed to go and what He had to undergo for the power to judge and forgive. It was that forgiveness of sins which is His reward for His suffering. In today’s Church, again the vast majority betray His passion by not accepting the magnificent Holy Mystery the sacrament of Penance, reconciliation or Confession. Wisdom tells us we cannot Judge what we do not know and as the God who will judge us with I might say such a sorrowful love in so many cases, we must have no doubt that any sin we did, we do or we will commit Jesus experienced it. We must have no doubt unless he did it was not forgiven, nor will it be forgiven. Have no doubt or objections we are no longer able to stand in His hall of justice and say, “How would you know what the sin was you never experienced it?”  Never doubt for we will know then if not now that Jesus knew sin and had experienced it first hand at our hands IN OUR WORLD. We cannot have one single solitary objection. He took our dreadful natural psyche, not in His Soul but upon shoulders and received the punishments of this world upon Himself and His Habitual Love practiced with humility in His journeys through out Palestine and beyond supported Him. Before you all rush to criticize, hold in your mind and consider what He meant when He told Pilate, His soldiers would be defending Him vigorously if His Kingdom was of this world. Could it be that if His Kingdom was not of this world at that time then Grace had withdrawn and was not present and His Father’s Army of Angels had been withdrawn? Just think of the battle that would have taken place if the faithful angels had been present. What does the Church teach about Christ’s dereliction, found in the seven last words? “My God! My God! Why have Thou forsaken Me”? Then He bowed His Head and died. I have never read or heard a description of what these words mean, therefore I would urge you to have your parish priest read this and make His comments to you, if he is inclined to. His answer would be very interesting.
By the way I celebrated Holy Week at Westminster Abbey, in Mission BC and the ceremonies were so devout amongst the Benedictine community. They spared not one effort to make those days grace filled occasions. What was so obvious that those who attended were reverent and devout according to what they knew but they had not been taught of how to approach the Kingship of Christ and His resurrection? Why cannot our parish priests teach them to?  How unfortunate we are that the Religious Sisters who taught us have all but disappeared.

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