Sometimes I find Catholics very opinionated, myself included, and due to the state of latest Church catechetical teachings many of our opinions are not well grounded in the faith. I also state equivocally on my part this is a not only a personal confession but also a self condemnatory truth. We defend ourselves and our points of view it seems, by using Church directives to destroy our opponents in a spiritual manner. I ask myself why and find that I am so proud of myself and I am right. How often I ask in the confessional for forgiveness. Like any of us who use the Confessional, I promise to try harder but many times, so many times my wishes and promises are all in vain. We use phrases like, “You are not very humble”. Meaning at times I feel, “Kiss my feet you bounder”. Then there is, “You are very judgmental”. How often have I been told or described as being from the dark side. Yet I can assure you I have asked the Local Ordinary for help in disproving this accusation as it a matter concerning possession. I never received an answer. Some say your are hypocritical. I tell myself think deeper and pray for guidance. I do not mind at all being critiqued, or have observations made about the standards of my education, my beliefs, my example as a Catholic. Why should I? I can and do ask all of you, for goodness sakes, as I strive for accuracy in my life, to seek the same for yours. You must of course be accurate. I check for the fruits in my life. Can you say the same? They are there for all of us who practice our CATHOLIC faith in the way Christ told and showed us. They are there for those who meaningfully look into their our consciences and keep them informed.
Personally, it is my dearest wish for which I hope and pray. I want to be a card carrying Mystical Catholic in the proper sense and living an appropriate way of life by using the Holy Mysteries of the Church at every opportunity. Let me explain as I have in the past. I make no claim to the supernatural, although the way my prayers are answered, blessed is a better description, this at times amazes me. So then how am I mystical? I am mystical in the proper sense. I live a life regularly using the Holy Sacramental Mysteries of the Church. I am baptized a Catholic, I go to Confession, every two weeks, but more often than not, every week. I try to live a life of gratitude, thanksgiving for all the times the Church through the Sacraments has rescued me from grave sin. I pray as much as I can for others. Asking Jesus to help me with His second great commandment reminding Him I’m not good at obeying It and asking for Him to help others and allow His blessings to count as done by me.
Just lately I have slowed down due to a medical operation. I attend mass. I have been confirmed and therefore since priests have not thrown me out of the confessional, not refused me Holy Communion I must consider myself a Mystical Catholic. I pray very often during the day and think sometimes, without realizing until later, about my relationship with God and others. I examine my conscience daily and always ask in Christ’s words, “My My God how have I forsaken You? In what manner have I defied You?” I have determined that I must never desert Him and treat any suggestions by my mind or others’ suggestions as temptations. I live through temptations that sometimes are horrific in the pressure they bring to my mind. They are, as early Byzantine Fathers wrote, bitter, horrible and cruel memories. I have come to realize that what Christ told us in scriptures is very true. That is, “They will throw you out of the synagogues, they will attack you and hurt you, convinced they are pleasing God.”
I know what I am and wish as strongly as I can that those who read this, whom I have never met
will be next to me throughout eternity in joyful contemplation of He who created us.
Labels: Catechism Holy Sacrament Mysteries Catholic